Is 60 years of small talk worth celebrating?

A deep freeze across the country, panic buying in the shops, and the prospect of a Conservative government elected on the back of a recession: it could still be the 1970s.  To complete the picture of a nation that seems incapable of social and political progress, we are now to be treated to a rerun of that other 70s icon: the jubilee.

When Andrew Rosindell staked his claim for the most sycophantic speech in the history of the House of Commons we all hoped that his outlandish call for the nation to be “appropriately enabled” to celebrate “this most important day” would fall on deaf ears.  Alas, not.  Lord Mandy has decreed. We are commanded to join together in 2012 to commemorate a sixty-year run of the same unelected head of state.

Thank goodness for our extra bank holiday so will all have the chance to recognise and give thanks for the Queen’s “remarkable achievements”. Would anyone care to list them?  Maybe I missed the Nobel Prize for Literature or the Oscar nomination for Best Picture.  Her tireless campaigning for human rights and the breakthrough discovery in medical science must have escaped my attention.

Elizabeth Windsor learned early on the best tactic for someone in a position of privilege but with very limited capabilities: keep your mouth shut, do nothing and present a blank canvas onto which people could project their own hopes, feelings and emotions.  And in this she has been spectacularly successful.  She must be congratulated in presenting the blankest of blank canvases.

In some respects you have to feel sorry for the woman.  She has lived her life against a backdrop of bowing and scraping lickspittles, flag-waving school children and the smell of fresh paint. Obliged to undertake a daily grind of small talk with the dull, the obsequious and the instantly forgettable, she has hardly led a meaningful life by anybody’s standards.  Her only remarkable achievement is that she has managed to not completely lose her mind (unless she already has – we will probably never be allowed to know).

I’m sure Mrs Windsor feels duty bound to maintain this Ruritanian pantomime for the good of the country and the tourists. But she shouldn’t. The country would limp along just fine without the hats, the waving and the smiling.  And, without the royal family to suck up to, our politicians might not be as easily distracted from the task of transforming Britain’s political system into a modern democracy fit for the 21st century – a democracy in which hereditary privilege plays no part.

Taking it further: If you share our vision of a fairer, more democratic Britain, why not consider becoming a supporter or a member of Republic, the campaign for an elected head of state?

You can also be part of our campaign by joining Republic Action, Republic’s own social networking site.